Home > Archive >The Heights of Ridiculousness
email: jc@rugkazbah.com
Sat, Jun 17th, 2006 03:48:16 PM
Topic: The Heights of Ridiculousness

Ridiculousness An alleged 18th century kelim posted on clownland:

Calling the posting of this kelim the height of stupidity is a bit of an exaggeration since something like this appears on professor clown’s site regularly.

The person who posted this cutesy example of commercial weaving, david hunt, can’t really be chided for his lack of knowledge about it. However, another frequenter in clownland, gene williams, can be criticized for the following comment about RK he posted in a rant about us:


In the middle of a garden, a poisonous toadstool grows. As you said its ruining my enjoyment of the DB; I feel my family is threatened now.

Is it possible to get a court order for JC to cease and desist; perhaps for stalking or some such?

If I ever hear from him or if my family does, I will pursue this option.

Sorry for the prickly upset, but this cyberspace bully has rubbed me the wrong way. I’ll admit that bullying doesn’t bring out the best in me.


This is the same moron who posted he desire to teach us a lesson should we ever cross his path.

Typical for an air-head who threatens someone and then cowers in fear when that threat is acknowledged.

Honestly, we are as interested in mr Williams, or teaching him a lesson, as we’d be in munching on a dirt sandwich and suggest he wake up and realize that.

It is true we don’t suffer fools well, nor do we candle to shrinking from silly threats, like the one mr Williams seemed to feel entitled to make.

Regardless of the personal issues steev and his coterie of clowns have dredged up against us, and about which we could, as we commented, care less, we felt we had to remark on their inabilities to understand the difference between something made in the 18th century and something, like this pathetic kelim made recently.

Here is a bit of the exchange that transpired as the clowns attempted to pontificate about it but first the comments the proud owner posted:

“I recently purchased this flatwoven rug or kilim from a merchant who discribed it as 18th century from Afghanistan.”

RK Replies: Better not return to that merchant’s shoppe with anything in your wallet or he might clean you out again

“I does seem familiar, and I may have seen it before somewhere in my stack of rug books, but I don’t want to go through them all.”

RK Replies: Either you’d better throw all those books away or get yerself some new glasses, my boy. Yeesshh, are you both dumb and blind?

”It does leave something to be desired condition wise, but for what I paid it’s a bargain. I think.”

RK Replies: It’s not the condition, clown, that leaves something to be desired, it’s your gullibility and stupidity. If you really do have a “stack of rug books” we suggest you use them for something other than door stops and crack one open once and a while before spending your loot with dishonest merchants.”

“Anyone recognize this curious weaving, with it’s thick, almost sweater like weave and coarse fibers? Seems a lot of hair. Goat hair?”

RK Replies: Go the your local Bloomindale’s, dave, you might see one there.” And worse comes to worse, you can always take it to a tailor and have it made into a “sweater”.

Soon thereafter j.r. howe, someone who is even more of a rug idiot then steev wrote this:

“Your post, and nicely graphic rug, took me to Parviz Tanavoli’s little book (1974) “Lion Rugs from Fars.” In it Tanavoli tells of coming onto his first lion rug a few years earlier and then about beginning to collect them. His book offers 41 examples drawn from his collection, all in pile.”

RK Replies: The erroneous referencing and cut and pasting the clowns do is one of the most obvious failures they present in their ongoing attempts to play at rug being rug experts. Not only is it misplaced but even when they occasionally get it right their doing so has little import, as far as we can tell from their past performances.

Then howe goes on to say: “I looked through Tanavoli’s examples, but none seen very similar to yours.”

RK Replies:Naturally this begs the question why cite the Tanavoli reference in the first place?

Continuing on this tack to nowhere howe states: “I think your piece may be somewhat unusual since it is flatwoven (although that could be a sign of its commercial character as well) and its natural colors save you from the problems of disqualifying synthetic dyes.”

RK Replies: Bravos to howe he finally spit out something that is real and to the point. Too bad it took him many paragraphs and he presents it as a question not the fact it surely is.

Coming behind howe readers were than presented with this claptrap commentary

“Lionised......G’day Mr Hunt, Really do admire your find, and although in many books, they are not so common as to find in a dealers stock, excepting maybe the bigger ones, with material from Tibet or Nepal, and those generally are the tiger striped sort.

My dad acquired a magnificently realistic tiger rug made from the pelts of many difference animals, the whiskers longs and said to be actual tiger whiskers, which may be or not, regardless it is a fascinating piece which has only a few minor losses.

I often wondered where it came from, and remember reading somewhere that tigers/lions were still to be found after WW11 in the northern reaches above Iran, in ‘jungle’ between Caucasus, Azerbiejan (sic)and northern Iran.

Seemed fanciful to me at the time, not really comprehending jungle in that regions, especially since it snows in winter!

The cover, rug, or bedspread whatever it is, is standard rug size - about 5’6” x 4’3” thereabouts, and more than likely Asian of some sort. It is particularly well done though, and likely expensive. The thing is so realistic is appears to be alive, and the colours matched from the difference fur pieces are astonishing.

Yours seems to me to be ‘Persepolised’, the ruff around the mouth and chest appears very similar to those shown on the freizes(sic) at Persepolis.

Its certainly unusual, and a nice talking piece, as is the one mentioned by Mr Howe, who has a really nice way of assuaging his loss by the pleasant thought of a child protected beneath it.

Oh why does everyone else find these things, except meee

Regards, Marty”

RK Replies: We have suggested many times in the past professor clown take his webiste private, as an email group and this “mine is bigger/better whatever than yours type of posting” from marty grove surely makes our case for steev doing so in spades.

Then, the voice of reason, marla mallet, aka ms muffins, finally puts the right hat on the bald head of this miserable kelim and it’s allusions of an 18th century dating:

“Hi Folks, I think you’ll find that this piece is from Ethiopia, and fairly recent. Quite a few of these used to pop up 15 or 20 years ago.”

RK Replies: Congrats ms muffins you have earned your keep as steev’s resident expurt.

As is typical for rug idiots and clowns like mr hunt et al, when presented with the truth about their purchases, they refuse to believe and squirm to try and prove their worthless positions.

Here’s a bit of hunt’s response:

“Hi Marla Yes, at $75 it may well be from Ethiopia. But what I can’t seem to reconcile is my memory of a few paragraphs in some rug book describing(sic) these early kelims, sharing the same (and as declaired(sic) by the author) distinctive characteristics as this weaving here, including the drawing of the eyes and mouth with this facial expression bordering on apprehension, the triangular crest, the drawing of the mane, the asymmetry in the drawing of the tails, and the bold border.

Seems distressed examples surface occasionally in the trade, and the dealer from whom I bought it was Iranian. Is it a knock off?

RK Replies: Here’s the kicker check out the owners dumb as a rock logic –

“It does seem to be quite old. I need to find this above mentioned passage again.”

RK Replies: Idiots never learn even when the truth falls on them like a ton of bricks as dave hunt’s performance proves.

RK could go on and post more clownland commentary, but need we?

Fact is steev and the rest of them are incapable of providing anything to help the public at large appreciate genuine Near Eastern weaving traditions and as far as RK is concerned their efforts are hindering it.

Time for the rug challenged clowns and rug idiots to fold up the circus tent and get lost.

One last citation, steev’s wrapup of this issue:

“We have enough information in this thread to persuade me that pieces of this size, design and palette were produced in fairly large numbers in both Ethiopia and Afghanistan during the last quarter of the 20th century.

Without further criteria than those, I don’t think it’s possible to decide which country is native for this one. I don’t see why the distinction would make any difference, either, other than as an exercise in attribution.”

RK Replies: gee, steev, what would the rest of your band of rug fools do without your cogent analysis and bristling wit?

RK is,as always, amazed anyone other than a dunce would appreciate reading what appears above or on almost any other thread on professor clown’s website.

However, the following comment from that dope gene Williams takes the cake:

“And I hope that Steve and Filiberto persevere with their wonderful gift to all of us....a chance to have intelligent discourse on what we enjoy.”

RK replies:The wonderful gift of ignorance is truly a great one, now ain’t it.

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